MICHAELS: Bad McAd leaves a bad taste in my mouth

“If you are trying to figure out how to spend that fiver, consider taking a moment to unplug from the trite network of now and 15-seconds-from-now…”

The unhealthy remnants of McChickens past coat some of my most cherished adolescent memories and that always makes me loath to criticize the McEmpire.

My thoughts on it have always been, it’s going to kill you if you go in too deep. But in the end, as is the case with so many things, it’s your choice. And it’s not like there hasn’t been ample warning.

An alarmingly irradiated looking red-head has been their spokesperson since the dawn of time and, of course, there’s their abysmal reputation for ingredients. How many restaurants have been linked so directly to the destruction of the rain forest and the creation of the stereotypical Fat American? I mean, McDonalds has a lot of issues to overcome— why should I add to the heap?

With a 15-second radio ad that was quickly pulled, I finally found cause.

It starts as so: “You could get a museum tour for $5.”


A woman playing the role of a museum guide then says, “There were dinosaurs and then there weren’t …OK, then, exit through the gift shop.”

The narrator then returns to tell listeners they could spend their $5 on a value meal with a sandwich, fries and drink, “at participating restaurants.”

It’s supposed to be funny and light, I suppose. But museums are taking umbrage and so am I. After all, we are in dark times.

This is the era of ignorance and celebrity politicians. This is the time in history where people aren’t celebrated for their skills, but rather their ability to drag 15 second attention spans in their direction — let tomorrow be damned.

It’s a time where many actually think it’s OK to say that they don’t know about culturally significant moments in history, because it happened before they were born. For the record, the latter is a comment I’ve been told at an alarming frequency, in reference to movies, music and history.

Now not to get too carried away, but here’s a line many must have forgotten — when you don’t know your history you’re doomed to repeat it. Do you really want to repeat the ’90s? Wait… we’re already doing that, but it gets worse the further back you go and we need to keep an eye on all the moments that were.

You know who has a really good grasp on what those times mean, and how they shaped who we are today?

The women and men at the museum.

If you want to know about the migrant workers who built this city, you know who you should ask? The women and men at the museum.

If you want to know how racism twisted the culture of the countryside long before most people knew it existed, go to the museum.

If you want to be versed on the importance of agriculture, the railroad the or even the Second World War draft, do you know where you can go?

The museum.

The women and men there are the keepers or our most valuable assets — our shared memories and the permanent fixtures of the times we’d be remiss to forget.

So if you are trying to figure out how to spend that fiver, consider taking a moment to unplug from the trite network of now and 15-seconds-from-now and consider communing with the keepers of the permanent, ineffable and unquantifiable assets that represent all we have been and can be.

It’s much more worthy of your Mclovin’ than the McEmpire.

To report a typo, email: edit@kelownacapnews.com.


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