Nicholas Laws / The Northern View

Column: I do not want to say goodbye

It seems that not too long ago I was writing my “Welcome” column.

In fact, it was not too long ago, just five short months ago I came here in October, a newly-graduated kid excited to see the world and to cut his teeth in the industry he spent $30,000 on a degree to get in.

As anyone who moved across the country by themselves, I had apprehension, but that apprehension quickly dissolved once I began to meet the people of this town.

READ MORE: COLUMN: Chill out people

For a while it was looking good, the city was beautiful, the people were friendly and welcoming everything had seemed to be coming up Millhouse for me.

But as good as things were going, life is never that straightforward and easy, and the biggest curveball in my life was thrown at me this January — my mother passed away.

After what has seemed like an eternity I made the decision to drop everything and return home to be with family.

Only time will tell if I made the right decision, but I can honestly say I would make the same decision every day of the week if presented with it again.

That being said, I have made my love for this town clear, and would always be open to a reunion down the road.

The people I have met have, in a very small window of time, made it feel like a home away from home for me and for that I express my eternal gratitude. So as I sit writing this column I do not want to say goodbye to the charming little coastal town that took me in, so I will simply say, until next time Prince Rupert.

For my mom,

You

There’s a hole in my heart the size of you

This big house grows lonely,

even with two.

Every picture, every moment, every memory

You.

Today I look forward

Not knowing what to do

I try to look back

But all I see is you

The best parts of me came from who?

My smile, my laugh, my happiness.

You.

I sit alone at night staring at the full moon

howling to it

crying out because I’m missing you

I’m a lone wolf now,

My pack incomplete, it’s missing something

Its leader, its rock, its foundation.

You.

This life I live grows confusing

Not knowing what to do

I’m lost without a compass, wandering

wondering why I’m left without you

The forest of my life grows dark and weary

and I have lost my way

Without you I lack vision, my eyes don’t see clearly

So in this darkness, I will stay

My guide, my light, my teacher.

You.

I still remember all those nights when you tucked me in

A gentle kiss on the forehead

Leaving your loving mark forever on my skin.

Your calming words and loving voice soothing me to sleep

“Goodnight my boy, sweet dreams”

I never counted sheep.

My faith, my safety, my guardian.

You.

And now as you lay there fading

There are so many things I wish to do

All those years you protected me from darkness

But now I couldn’t protect you.

I scream and cry and beg and plead all with no success

I’m sorry, Please don’t leave I’m here for you

The bedposts I would press

Gripping them, squeezing them with all my might

Hugging you one last time.

Forever holding you tight.

“Goodnight my girl, sweet dreams”

I whisper, the words floating softly to your ear

My eyes well up and tears begin to stream

I hope and pray my love will carry you far away from here

My pain, my loss, my heartbreak.

You.

My brain was racing, cursing the One above.

How can this world be so unkind?

How can You take away the one I love?

And while my mind would race, the same three words leave my tongue

Every time I said them I hoped He’d hear

And steal the cancer from your lungs

Because those three words have never been more true.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

My angel. My love. My mom.

You.

To report a typo, email: editor@thenorthernview.com.



Send Nick email
Like the The Northern View on Facebook
Follow us on Twitter

Get local stories you won't find anywhere else right to your inbox.
Sign up here

Just Posted

Disrespectful that Horgan won’t meet during northern B.C. tour: hereditary chief

Na’moks said he was frustrated Horgan didn’t meet with the chiefs

Commercial fishing concerns over North Coast marine protected areas

Fishermen of the Northern Shelf Bioregion seek solutions through consultations

BC Green Party leader visits Wet’suwet’en camps at heart of pipeline conflict

Adam Olsen calls for better relationship between Canada and First Nations

Prince Rupert RCMP address Maclean’s report, city’s crime severity index numbers

New online crime reporting system coming to town this year as well

New deal between Ridley Terminals and Teck Resources will increase coal exports

Extension agreement between Ridley Terminals and Teck Resources to increase steelmaking coal shipments

After cashing in on QB gambles, Chiefs and 49ers to clash in Super Bowl

KC beats Tennessee, San Francisco dispatches Green Bay to reach NFL title game

B.C. VIEWS: Few clouds on Horgan’s horizon

Horgan’s biggest challenge in the remainder of his term will be to keep the economy humming along

Victoria family focuses on ‘letting go, enjoying time together’ after dad gets dementia

Walter Strauss has developed an interest in music and now takes line dancing classes

B.C. forest industry grasps for hope amid seven-month strike, shutdowns, changes

Some experts say this could be worse for forestry than the 2008 financial crisis

Northern B.C. RCMP investigating alleged sexual assault in downtown Smithers

One person was transported by ambulance to hospital following RCMP investigation at Sedaz

UBC, Iranian-Canadian community create memorial scholarship in honour of victims

The Jan. 8 crash killed 176 people, including 57 Canadians

Canucks extend home win streak to 8 with 4-1 triumph over Sharks

Victory lifts Vancouver into top spot in NHL’s Pacific Division

Most Read